"Let him kiss me with the kisses of his mouth! For your love is better than wine";
- Song of Solomon 1:2
You want to tell your partner how you feel about them but you end up staring at a blank screen for so long you give up. Or you try a few lines only to delete them all and start over. Again. Why is it so hard to tell the loved one in our life exactly what they mean to us? Do you struggle to find the words to properly convey how you feel? Or is it that you just can’t explain it? Don’t let words get in the way of telling your loved one how much they mean to you.
Everyone wants to be loved. When you are busy living life, there never seems time to slow down that central relationship that makes it all worthwhile. Oftentimes we think that those closest to us know exactly how we feel about them and how important they are to us. But the sad reality is that often they don’t.
So how can you write a love letter that you will feel proud to give and one that your loved one will cherish for all time? Where do you start? Follow these easy tips below and you’ll be on your way in no time.
I don’t ask you to love me always like this, but I ask you to remember. Somewhere inside of me there will always be the person I am tonight. – F. Scott Fitzgerald
1. First write down 5 things that you love about your partner and be as specific as possible. Rather than writing that they are kind, instead be detailed about how they are kind. Perhaps they always smile at waiters in restaurants or they are great at making people feel included, especially at parties.
2. Write down 5 things that they have done that confirms how much you love them and again, give examples. Perhaps they enveloped you in a hug last night when you were feeling frustrated about your family. Or maybe they knew how disappointed you were when you missed out on that promotion and they cooked a special meal to cheer you up.
3. Pick the best three examples from each of the above categories and weave them into your letter. You could start by saying ‘I love how you…’ and then include the three examples from the first point. Then you could say something like ‘I loved the way you…’ and then mention the other examples. Make sure you emphasise how their actions made you feel, how loved you felt and how grateful you are to have them in your life.
4. It is best to write up a draft first and then go over it to see if you can improve it. Sometimes it helps to write up what you want to say, edit it until it flows well and then leave it for a day or two before going back for a final edit and polish.
5. Buy some special paper and write out your letter. Don’t worry if your handwriting isn’t perfect – it’s distinctly yours and your loved one will appreciate the time and effort you put into the letter. If you feel your writing is so bad it will be difficult to read or if your illegible handwriting is something you’ve argued about before then pay to get it hand written by a professional. At a stretch you could use a more romantic font on your computer, say Garamond in italic, but you should really only do that as a last resort. The more personal you can make your letter the more your loved one will treasure it.
6. Think about how you plan on delivering this letter to them. Will you slip it in their briefcase? Mail it? Leave it under the pillow? Do you want to be there when they open it? If you want to see their reaction, then it is best to hand it to them. You could team the letter up with a small gift like flowers or chocolate but make sure the gift doesn’t diminish the letter as you want that to be the main focus.
If a birthday or anniversary or other special occasion you’ll want to include mention of that too.