Therefore, behold, I will allure her, bring her into the wilderness and speak kindly to her.
Oftentimes we, as women, leave our needs unexpressed and wait for our husbands to just guess what to do. Many men honestly don’t know how to be romantic. And, when they do get up the courage to attempt romance, their efforts may not be expressed in a way that we appreciate or even recognize as romance.
Look how silly this sounds. If your son was attempting algebra and didn’t understand it, you wouldn’t cry because he didn’t love you. As a mom, we’d sit down, and go over it again and again, for as long as it took until he understood. Yet, we expect our husbands to know something that they’ve never been taught. Instead of leaving your husband to struggle, show him how to romance you. How will he know what to do if you don’t show him?
So, how can you teach him how to romance you?
1. Be romantic yourself.
If you show him that you value him and love him on a regular basis, instead of expecting him to be the romantic one, he’ll be more receptive to trying it himself. The old saying “You can catch more flies with honey than with vinegar” definitely applies. Yelling and crying because he isn’t romantic isn’t exactly going to put him in the lovey mood.
2. Tell him what you like.
Do you enjoy expensive gifts or would you rather have him make something for you? Would you like him to go on walks with you? Give you cut flowers or live plants?
Make a list of every birthday, anniversary and holiday and include ideas for things he can buy or do for you. Set him up to succeed.
3. Learn what he likes.
The same thing stands for him. Know what makes him happy.
Please don’t buy him an expensive gift if he’s the frugal type. He won’t like it.
Don’t take him to a fancy French restaurant if he’s a Chicken kind of guy. It’s ok to take him there for your birthday, but don’t take him there for his birthday.
If he loves sports, then go to them with him.
Please initiate romance. So often, women just get more and more resentful that they aren’t feeling romanced and their husband has no clue what to do to fix it. There really should be a required romance course before you can get your marriage license. At least that way, men would, at some point in time, learn how to be romantic. Until then, it’s our job to show him just what we want and need to feel special. Now go Romance Your Husband!