“If I have the gift of prophecy and can fathom all mysteries and all knowledge, and if I have a faith that can move mountains, but do not have love, I am nothing. If I give all I possess to the poor and give over my body to hardship that I may boast, but do not have love, I gain nothing. Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud. It does not dishonor others, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs. Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth. It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres.” –
1 Corinthians 13:2-7
Many couples tend to pay less and less attention to the romantic aspect of their lives together. They get busy, children come along, and before they know it, they’re like roommates rather than romantic lovers. But it doesn’t have to be that way.
Romance and intimacy are all about making and keeping connections. Connections using the five senses can help.
1. Handholding is something most couples do when they are first dating, but an activity many couples stop once they’ve been together for a while. Yet handholding brings people together both physically and emotionally. Walking down the street or in a mall or in nature holding hands connects you in terms of posture, pace and shared experience. Holding hands when you are sitting watching TV is also a way of sharing experience.
2. Hugging - Handholding can lead to hugging and snuggling, especially when you are sitting together.
3. Sleeping in bed - Do you sleep far apart? Or even in separate rooms? Or do you tend to spoon and snuggle up? There might be some valid reasons for separate rooms (such as health issues) but if this is the case, do plan to make up for the physical contact prior to going to bed to sleep.
Taste and Other Ways to Connect
4. Sharing food can be very intimate and fun.
5. So too are nostalgic things you like to do together than help remind you of how you became a couple.
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6. Some couples "nest" by shopping together to choose things that will make their house feel more like a home.
7. Your taste in music can actually bring you together as you sing along to old favorites and new.
8. Some couples like to have pleasant sounds in the bedroom, especially the sounds they wake up to so they are not jolted out of their sleep each morning. Bird song, the patter of rain, and other soothing sounds can give you a chance to snuggle in bed before facing another busy day.
9. Shared smells can bring a sense of closeness. Perfume and aftershave are known for their allure, provided you don’t use too much of them and the other person likes the fragrance.
10. Subliminal smells can attract or repel. For example, you might love the way your spouse’s back of the neck smells due to their laundry detergent. On the other hand, the smell of their sports socks might be totally revolting. To bring back romance, focus on the attractive smells!
11. Then there is aromatherapy. This ancient healing method uses highly concentrated botanicals known as essential oils to elevate the mood and re-establish balance and harmony. Citrus scents like lemon and neroli (orange flower) boost the energy. Lavender and cedarwood are more soothing. Combine with massage for a really romantic evening together.
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