Charm is deceitful, and beauty is vain, but a woman who fears the LORD is to be praised. Proverbs 31:30
When you've been dating someone for a while and the initial fascination has worn off, a little bit, you may be wondering if you made the right decision getting involved with him. It's at this stage that many women will ask the question: is my boyfriend a good match for me? The sooner you have the answer to this question the better, especially if you and your boyfriend are starting to get serious at all.
Here are a few things you should think about that will help you determine how compatible the two of you really are:
1. If you want to know the answer to something the best thing to do is to ask. Talk with, not at, your boyfriend and ask questions about his values. Don't make this seem like some sort of interrogation, but rather a normal adult conversation. Listen carefully to his answers and don't tell him he's wrong or give any indication that you don't agree with something he says. No matter how badly you want things to work out you're better off facing the truth instead of trying to get him to say what you want him to say.
While no couple is going to agree on everything, and some differences can make the relationship more interesting, you do want a consensus on the big issues. For example, if you know that you want to have a lot of kids it's important for you to find out whether or not your boyfriend wants kids and if so how many. If you both want kids and the only difference is that you want 4 and he only wants 2, that doesn't have to be an insurmountable obstacle.
If, on the other hand, you want 4 and he absolutely doesn't want any, than the two of you have a problem. While one or the other of you might give in, it's very likely that that will cause friction in the future. You're better off finding someone who simply wants the same thing you do so you can save both of you a lot of pain.
2. Do the two of you share similar views on how best to raise your kids, assuming you want to have kids? Again, this may sound fairly insignificant, but it's not. The last thing you want to do is find out that you are completely opposite in what approach you think is best when it comes to child rearing.
3. What about money? Do you have congruent beliefs about how best to use your money and how and when you should use credit? Finances are one of the biggest things couples clash over.
4. Do you both agree on how money should be divided in a marriage? Should you each have your own account and just pool money for the household bills and savings or do you pool all your money? Who is responsible for the bills, will you do them together or do you think one person should be in charge of all household finances?
These questions don't have to be asked all at once in some sort of job interview style, but it is important for both of you to have an idea of where the other stands on these and many other important lifestyle decisions. Knowing the answer to these questions will make answering the question: is my boyfriend a good match for me, much easier.