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Ideal Marriage - Flexibility Is Your Silver Bullet

I appeal to you, brothers, by the name of our Lord Jesus Christ, that all of you agree, and that there be no divisions among you, but that you be united in the same mind and the same judgment.

1 Corinthians 1:10

Some friends and I were having a conversation the other day about what we considered to be an ideal relationship. We all are very different and like different things in our relationships, but we found that we did all seem to agree on some basics. Some things we didn't agree on since some of us are more free spirited than others, but the basics were the same.

If you want to find the perfect relationship you have to understand which things you can (and should be) a little flexible on and what things you shouldn't be willing to settle on. Once you've got that foundation it will make it easier to hold out until you find someone who may not be perfect, but they're perfect for you.

Here are some things that most people would consider to be basic traits to have in order to create a great relationship. If one or more of these traits are missing you may want to keep looking for someone special:

1. Honesty. If you can't trust the person you're with your life is not going to be very easy or fulfilling. It's not much fun to be in a relationship with someone you can't trust.

Think of how it would be if you could not only not trust your partner with the big things, such as being faithful or taking good care of the money, but the small things too. You and your partner both need to have high standards when it comes to being honest.

2. Maturity. The older you get and the closer you may be getting to the age you may want to settle down and have a family, the more important this trait becomes. Life has its ups and downs and you want someone by your side who isn't going to flake out and fall to pieces every time you hit a bump in the road.

You want someone who can have fun (maturity has nothing to do with being old or 'stodgy' it just means you know when to act silly and when to suck it up and take care of business) but still have your back when you need them. It's also an important trait when it comes to working through tough issues and being able to communicate.

3. Good communication skills. This is important because if the two of you can't talk about difficult issues (and the longer you're together the more difficult issues that will arise), your relationship isn't going to be a smooth one.

You both have to know how to constructively express the way you're feeling as well as listen as objectively as possible to what your partner is saying to you, even if it's not something that you really want to hear.

Everyone has their own definition of what the ideal relationship would be. Some people are drawn to someone with a sense of humor while others like someone who is serious, but the bottom line is above and beyond all that you want someone who has the traits I've listed above because without them, you won't have a a solid relationship.

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