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HELP - How Can I Stop My Divorce Right Now

Do not let any unwholesome talk come out of your mouths, but only what is helpful for building others up according to their needs, that it may benefit those who listen. Ephesians 4:29

In a perfect world, every married couple would be happily married. There would be no arguments and you would both love each other more than anything else. That all may be great, but we live in the real world, and have to deal with real world problems. If you are going through a tough spot and are on the verge of breaking up, you may be wondering "how can I stop my divorce?"

That's a great question. It shows that you still care, and as long as you still care, there is a chance that you will be able to save your marriage. However, every person is different and so is every marriage. In other words, what works for somebody else may not work for you, and vice-versa. Perhaps the best thing we can do is try to avoid some of the most common mistakes.

Saying things you don't mean as a way to reassure your partner is one such mistake. While your intentions are good, the results will be counterproductive. All you are trying to do is say anything in the hopes of saving your marriage. For example, you may tell your spouse that everything is fine now and that you have really changed, all the while professing your undying affection for them. These are great things to say, but only if they are true. The last thing you should be doing at this point is making stuff up. Even though you mean well, you are only adding lies to an already volatile situation.

Another common, though mistaken, answer to the question of how can I stop my divorce is engage in positive thinking. There isn't anything wrong with thinking positive, and a positive attitude can help smooth things over. However, be careful that this positive thinking doesn't cross the line over into the realm of fantasy. It's all too easy to start imagining everything working out and being happy together, forever. But thoughts alone won't change anything. You need to take action to back up those thoughts.

Not doing anything and hoping for the best is also an easy mistake to make. But a happy, healthy marriage takes work. You need to be willing to do whatever it takes to save your marriage. You will have to have a frank talk with your spouse, and seek counseling if you need it.

The other big mistake some people make when wondering "how can I stop my divorce" is to manipulate their spouse. They will use phony emotions to get a desired result. But manipulation is not the right way to save anything. In reality, it is nothing more than lying. If you really want to save your marriage then you need to be honest from this point forward. Fixing a troubled marriage takes a lot of work, but the good news is that it is possible if you are willing to do what needs to be done. Only you and your spouse know what will work best for you and the sooner you start, the better.

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