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Fixing A Broken Marriage - Before It Breaks

Bear with each other and forgive one another if any of you has a grievance against someone. Forgive as the Lord forgave you. And over all these virtues put on love, which binds them all together in perfect unity. Colossians 3:13-14

Let's face it, we're all human; therefore, we all make mistakes. We also do things with the best of intentions, only to see them not work out the way we had originally planned. Sadly, marriage is often one of those things. We say our vows with conviction and can't wait to live a happy life together. But then reality hits. Being in a happy relationship takes work. If any of this sounds familiar to you, and you feel your relationship could be better, then you want to continue reading.

Don't get discouraged. The very fact that you recognize that there is a problem is a good sign. It means you're paying attention and are aware of what's going on. After all, you can't fix it if you don't know it's broke. So, take heart and start working toward fixing your relationship.

If you and your partner are good at communicating with one another, then you may be able to patch things up on your own. Perhaps there was a time when you could talk to each other, but you have since started drifting apart. Go ahead and try reopening the lines of communication. It's worth a shot, and it's a good skill to develop again.

Be sure to keep your emotions in check. As soon as you detect your discussion getting too heated, make a note of it and take a break to cool down. You have to stop right away, otherwise you may end up in a full blown argument and say things you will regret later. Speaking of saying things you'll regret...

Remember to treat each other with respect as you're working things out. You both may not like some of things the other one is doing, but you don't need to make it personal. The key to making this work is to take it slowly, talk about the behavior (not the person), and how it makes you feel. You may be surprised at just how effective this technique can be. The reason it works is that it prevents each of you from getting overly defensive.

If, despite your best efforts, you find that you're not making any progress, then it's time to take the next step. The next step is to seek professional help from a marriage counselor. Don't worry, more couples than you think have had counseling at one point or another. It's not a reflection on your weaknesses, but rather proof that you still care enough about your relationship to try to save it. There is no need to feel ashamed or embarrassed. The counselor is there to help. And, for the record, they really have heard just about everything, so be open and honest as you talk about your situation.

Whether you choose to try to fix things yourself or seek relationship counseling, what counts is that you are doing something. Stick with it, be willing to do whatever it takes and you will have your marriage back in shape in no time.

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